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Introduction

Have you seen your kids behaving differently with different people? For instance, your kids may become attentive listeners while talking with their grandparents but start throwing tantrums or withdrawing mid-conversations when talking to you. While such actions may come across as rude and cold, they’re actually influenced by parenting styles. We at Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, one of the top 10 CBSE schools in Gurgaon, have seen in many cases that children respond directly to parenting approaches and tend to adjust their behaviour based on these patterns. In other words, we can say the way you, as a parent, respond to your child’s tantrums, set boundaries, give praise, express emotions, etc., all work to create a blueprint for your child to navigate the world. Your actions greatly influence how your child behaves. Hence, we would like to advise you to take a pause, notice, and evaluate how your parenting style impacts your child’s behaviour. If you don’t have the clarity to proceed, we are sharing below a few points that can serve as a good starting point for you. So, let’s explore how parenting styles generally influence children’s behaviour and what parents can do to correct them.

Authoritative vs. Permissive

Different Styles, Different Results

Your choice of parenting style will lay the foundation of your child’s behaviour. Authoritative parents generally set firm boundaries but lead with warmth and explanations. On the other hand, parents following a permissive parenting style prioritise freedom with fewer consistent rules. Experts have noticed stark differences in how children respond to both parenting styles under the same condition. For example, if a child experiences a grocery meltdown, authoritative parents acknowledge the child’s feelings but remain firm on their grounds for not buying candies. However, permissive parents give in after some time to avoid conflict. Hence, while children with authoritative parents learn that boundaries are reliable and learn to develop better self-control and emotional regulation in the process, those with permissive parents struggle with boundaries and may become too demanding, hampering their personal and professional relationships.

Your Reactions Become Their Behaviours

Modelling Emotional Responses

All children are master mimics. They constantly observe and absorb your emotional reactions, playing them back in their own behaviours. So, if you respond to spilled milk with a deep breath and calm cleanup, you’re unknowingly imbibing patience and resilience as a core behaviour in your kids. But if you respond to challenging situations by slamming doors in frustration, you demonstrate that big emotions deserve big reactions. This means your kid’s emotional outbursts or behaviours often reflect what they’ve seen at home. Here, we at Delhi Public School Sushant Lok would like to clarify that you don’t have to become the ‘perfect’ parent to shape healthy behaviours in your kids; you just need to become a more ‘aware’ parent. Whenever a triggering situation arises, pause, take a breath, and narrate your emotions before responding. This simple technique can support your kids in healthy emotion management. They can also develop a strong vocabulary to understand and express their own feelings (small or complex). It’s one of the best ways to significantly lower their tantrums and aggressive behaviours stemming from emotional confusion.

What You Notice Gets Repeated

Attention Drives Repetition

Children have unique ways of grabbing their parents’ attention, and one of the common methods is instinctively repeating behaviours that earn them their parents’ focused attention (positive or negative). So, if your kids only get your undivided attention during meltdowns or misbehaviours, they’ll unconsciously create more of those moments. You can fix it by regularly acknowledging, expressing, and praising your kids for their good behaviours. Start by identifying at least three good behaviours your kids engaged in, such as sharing their toys with their younger sibling, finishing their homework on time, eating healthy food, etc. This simple shift can redistribute your attention to their positive behaviours, which may naturally begin to increase as negative attention-seeking decreases.

Your Words Build or Break Their Behaviours

Labels Become Identity

Parents should be careful with their word choices as they shape their child’s self-image and behaviours. If you constantly label your kids with phrases like ‘You’re so messy’ or ‘You’re too difficult to deal with,’ they eventually become self-fulfilling prophecies as children unconsciously live up to all the identities parents assign them. A better approach to handle it is by addressing specific behaviours. For example, whenever you see your kid’s bedroom messed up and disorganised, say, ‘This room needs tidying,’ instead of ‘You’re disorganised.’ Similarly, praise their efforts instead of fixed traits. For instance, if you see them working on a complex puzzle, say, ‘You worked hard on that puzzle’ instead of ‘You’re so smart.’ Words like these build resilience and perseverance in kids. They also help create a positive internal dialogue for your children, fostering cooperation instead of defensiveness.

Conclusion

At Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, we’ve observed time and again that the way a child behaves isn’t just about their temperament. It’s a reflection of the environment they grow up in, especially the emotional climate shaped by their parents. As a parent, whether it’s how you respond to setbacks, set boundaries, or offer praise, your actions quietly guide your child in building their worldview and self-image. Trust us; it’s often the smallest shifts, like those in the choice of words, tone, or attention, that spark the biggest changes in a child’s behaviour. At Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, ranked among the top 10 CBSE schools in Gurgaon, we deeply value the role parents play and are here to walk this journey with you. After all, only when parents and schools work together with understanding and care do children thrive — not just as students but as individuals who are kind, confident, and emotionally strong.