How to Make Kids Understand that Praises are ‘Earned’ and Don’t Simply Flow In

Praising your kids seems like such an easy and obvious part of parenting, isn’t it? After all, everyone loves to be told how amazing they are, and kids are no different. It makes the young ones so happy when we tell them how proud we are of them. However, it is important to remember in this regard that there is more on the line when it comes to praising than only boosting their self-esteem. At the end of the day, your aim is to shape your kids’ behavior, and the way you praise them has a major role to play in this aspect.

For children, praise is a reward in itself, and it acts as a way to let them learn the kind of behaviors that are acceptable, even from the earliest days. So, does that mean you should let the praises flow in at the kids at every single instance? Well, we, at Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, one among the top 10 CBSE schools in Delhi NCR, believe that it is indeed vital for the kids to understand that praises have to be earned and don’t always keep flowing without any specific reason. There’s something called overpraising, and that’s detrimental to kids in several ways. On that note, let us take a closer look at this matter today.

Children and praising: understanding the delicate balance

Since praising kids is so important, one would think that showering lavish praises to the kids every day would mean never having to worry about them not working hard. But that’s not quite the way things work. Though we have already mentioned the significance of praising children, it is also important to remember that if you aren’t careful about when and how you praise them, it can become too much of a good thing. For the words of praise to be truly effective, they need to be used judiciously and at the right time.

If the praises keep flowing in at the drop of a hat, they lose much of their power of encouragement and motivation. In fact, they might set up the kids for greater discouragement when they fail to live up to the high standards they have set for themselves.

For instance, suppose you praise your kid every day for every single chapter he/she solves from the math book. And then, along comes a chapter that the child just can’t get through as easily as he/she did before. Now the praises that flowed in so quickly before would suddenly stop, and this will give rise to the feelings of discouragement and disheartening in tandem. Thus, a much more effective way would be to wait till the math assignment or exam gets over and praise when his/her efforts make the kid excel in that task.

At DPS Sushant Lok, we believe that when we let kids earn their praises, we set them up for consistent hard work and dedication. As the kids put their heart and soul into it, the lessons that are learned and the skills picked up remain with them for a lifetime. It thus becomes easier to shape the kids’ behavior in this way.

A few suggestions on praising the kids in the right manner

While we are on the subject of letting kids earn their praises, let us share a few more of our insights with you in this regard. At DPS Sushant Lok, recognized among the top 10 CBSE schools in Delhi NCR, we firmly believe that kids need to be praised sincerely and honestly, and the focus should always be more on their efforts rather than on the results.

We have seen that praises work so much better when you tell them you’re impressed with the hard work they have put to get top-notch marks in their assignment than simply saying, “Good job for an ‘A+’ in math.” This way, you can direct the kids to understand the significance of hard work and how you feel that’s praiseworthy. The kids would then know what exactly they need to do to earn those words of praise.

At DPS Sushant Lok, we strongly believe that our children look up to us to develop their sense of right and wrong, and directing them towards the correct path involves taking care of the nuances of various aspects, such as praising. So next time you shower your praises on your child, make sure your kid earns them from you. And hopefully, the insights we shared today will aid you in encouraging the kids better from now on.

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