Parents always try hard to encourage and support children through their words and actions. However, it may often happen that the wrong choice of words ends up putting an entirely opposite effect on them. At Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, ranked among the top 10 schools in Gurgaon, we firmly believe that your choice of words as a parent plays a crucial role in shaping your child’s belief system. Hence, it is important that you, as parents, pay attention to the words you choose to use in front of your children.
If you want to support your children without unknowingly harming their self-esteem and confidence or discouraging them from pursuing their passion, we recommend you to avoid using the following phrases while conversing with your children and even avoid using them when your children are around.
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You’re Not Good Enough
It is a common phrase some parents use when their children don’t perform as desired. Parents use this phrase to express their disappointment but don’t realize the adverse effects these four words have on their child’s mind.
This phrase makes a child believe that he or she is not good enough for anything. As a result, children develop low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and reduced confidence in their abilities. Thus, instead of saying, ‘you’re not good enough,’ try acknowledging and encouraging your kid’s skills and abilities so they can move forward without focusing solely on the result.
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I’m Disappointed in You
Parents may often use this phrase to voice their disappointment. While expressing what one feels is natural, sticking to the right word choices remains essential. When you use phrases like ‘I’m disappointed in you,’ children’s self-esteem can be severely hurt. Continuous usage of this phrase can make children believe that they have let their parents down.
It can lead to internalizing the belief that they aren’t good enough. Instead of using this phrase, you can focus on the desired change you want to see in your children and guide them in achieving the same. At Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, we firmly believe that encouraging words paired with the right guidance can generate miraculous results.
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Stop Crying, Don’t Be a Cry Baby!
Crying is a normal process, and kids should not be shamed or made to feel guilty for crying. If you feel your kids are being fussy or overly emotional, look for better ways to acknowledge their condition and ask them to freely express their situation.
If you tell them to stop crying, they may start believing their feelings aren’t valid and they don’t matter. Over a period, it can make them feel ashamed of expressing their emotions, and they can experience difficulty in regulating their emotions.
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Don’t You Understand This?
When parents get irritated trying to explain the same thing multiple times, they use this phrase. These words might appear insignificant at the surface level, but at a psychological level, they can massively impact your kids. This phrase is highly discouraging and can make children feel ashamed of not understanding something on the first attempt.
Feelings of self-doubt and frustration can also develop over a period, affecting their overall performance in other areas of life. Whenever students at Delhi Public School Sushant Lok, one of the top 10 schools in Gurgaon, don’t understand a concept at first instance, we focus on providing additional support/guidance to help them better grasp the concept instead of making them feel bad for their perceived lack of understanding.
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This is Not For You; Move On!
When parents start limiting children’s activity/career choices based on their gender, they end up using this phrase. Usage of this phrase sends a message that certain activities/career choices aren’t for them. It often leads to kids internalizing harmful gender stereotypes, making them feel they aren’t capable enough.
This phrase can also restrict their career choices in the future, limiting their opportunities and growth. Instead of telling children that certain things aren’t for them, you should encourage them to pursue diversified interests and motivate them to make better decisions for themselves.
Conclusion
Words we use have a massive impact on kids’ minds. If you want to see your kids thrive and become their best versions, using the right words when they’re around is crucial. You can start by replacing the commonly used negative phrases with positive and encouraging ones. If you use any of the phrases featured in the list mentioned above, start by removing them, and you’ll be surprised to see their impact.