“Be careful with those skates, or else you’ll break your arm!” “Oh, your drawing is such a blunder. Don’t you think these colors should have been more on the inside than the outside of your flower?” Your handwriting looks just like tiny insects. Look how beautifully your sister writes!”
Whether said angrily or humorously, these or similar statements do find their way in the day-to-day conversations between most parents and their children. But do you know that while nothing superficially appears wrong with such statements, they may actually do the damage to those tender minds.
Despite the fact that you want just the best for your kids, it is sometimes the language, expressions, and actions that end up creating the barrier. And while we, at DPS Sushant Lok, an esteemed CBSE affiliated school in Gurgaon, understand that no parent could ever knowingly or purposely hurt the apple of their eyes, it does happen ‘unknowingly’ in most households. You won’t even get to know, and your little one would have got the feeling of self-doubt. On that note, sharing below some of the most common ways you might be unintentionally discouraging your child:
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Suppressing their dreams in a bid to eliminate danger
Parents, in general, are protective towards their kids. But this tendency to protect the little ones from every possible danger often makes the parents do or say certain things that turn out discouraging for the children. For instance, what would you do if your 5 year old comes and tells you how much he wants to play with those roadside pups? Isn’t your sudden instinct is to warn them about the risk of dog bite and the possible germs and infections they may carry back home?
Yes, we know you just say it out of your love and care for the kids, but what such responses do is to suppress the dreams and wishes of those young minds. They won’t understand your affection at that time, but all that they will grab is that they can’t do something that they are so much in love with. Hence, next time your kid tells you about any of his/her dreams, try and be a little compassionate while responding. Tell the child about the possible dangers, how to avoid them, and what can be instead done to help them live their dreams.
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Criticism overpowering the praise
Children are innocent by nature, and they do need correction from the parents whenever the need arises. But the constant corrections may also turn into a problem when all that the children get to hear is about their mistakes and not enough words of praise to lighten up their spirit and soul. What we, at DPS Sushant Lok, would like to suggest here is to make sure that whenever you go about correcting your kids, you also appreciate their efforts and strong points. This will help to reinforce the idea that their good deeds are just as important to you, and you not just notice them but are also appreciative towards them.
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Expectations crossing the boundary of reality
“I want you to be a doctor when you grow up. I’ll be a proud father!” A very normal and a very commonly used statement, right? But do you realize the load of expectations it carries for the tender minds? While there isn’t anything wrong with setting expectations from your kids, it is important that their abilities, interests, and attitudes are kept into consideration. For instance, if your child has a creative bend of mind and shows more interest in arts than science, don’t you think it would be better to encourage her creativity rather than forcing her to develop an interest in science just because you expect her to be a doctor? Think about it and be realistic!
At DPS Sushant Lok, one among the leading CBSE affiliated schools in Gurgaon, we strongly believe that children are like molding clay. The way they are shaped during their initial years lays the foundation for their entire life ahead. It is hence crucial to deal with kids in an intelligent way. While correcting them whenever they go wrong is extremely necessary, it is equally important to convey your message in such a manner that it doesn’t hurt them or discourage them in any way.
Yes, we understand the task is quite challenging but isn’t that the beauty of parenting after all! We hope the points discussed in this article today will help you identify what’s going wrong despite your best intentions, and we are very much sure you’ll take the necessary steps to seal the loopholes right away.